Hey there, fellow Holiday zombie,
Don't worry: this isn't my regular monthly newsletter, where I demand your undivided attention on my meandering rambles for approximately ten minutes.
Nope: this is just a super quick news blast to let you know that Dom of the Dead is finally available as an audiobook! That's right: Yasmine has come to life, embodied by my one-in-a-million narrator, Alyssa Rogge. Three full hours of professionally produced zombie-slamming apocalyptic dungeon fun to indulge in while you wash your dog, trim your nose hairs, or reorganize your exotic spice rack. Not to mention the fact that you'll get to hear the book's original afterword in my own voice, which I professionally recorded at a nearby video game studio. Please feel free to taunt me for my unrefined, nasally voice if you feel so inclined. It's the Holidays. I'm in a forgiving mood.
Audible US: https://adbl.co/3pmfkdr
Audible UK: https://adbl.co/3FhACy2
Amazon (all countries): https://amzn.to/30Nk9Tw
Isn't it weird how we always hate the sound of our own voice when we hear it played back to us? Apparently, it has something to do with how the acoustics of our own skulls and nasal cavities deliver the vibrations of our voices to ourselves, which is radically different from how others hear them through the air.
It's funny: the hating-your-own-voice thing is almost the opposite of how we feel about our own farts. If we humans suddenly started hating the smell of our own farts as much as we typically hate the sound of our own voices, stock prices for canned beans would plunge off a cliff. Heck, maybe that's the solution to global warming. Somebody just needs to engineer some sort of high-tech bio-brain hack that makes your own farts smell as terrible as other people’s farts. Global methane emissions would drop by 50 per cent!
(Please note that I'm a zombie writer, not a scientist, so please don't quote the above figure in any real-life smart person conversation.)
When I hear my voice played back to me, I immediately want to drink kerosene and thrust a flaming, serrated sword down my gullet. Maybe that would grant me the wonderfully deep, gritty edge I so wish I had. The only time I ever appreciate the sound of my own voice is when I've got a bad cold, or when I wake up in the morning hungover from too many whisky sours. Next time I get sick, maybe I'll double-down and get hammered, then record hours and hours of myself growling random words into the microphone, which I can later rearrange into wonderfully sexy, complete sentences.
What about you? Are you one of those laryngeal unicorns who likes the recorded sound of their own voice?
Finally, one last reminder to grab your free eBook copy of Once Upon an Apocalypse while you still can; on January 1st, this jumbo apocalyptic short story anthology goes away forever, so download it now! Seriously, it's a great read, and I'm really enjoying it so far: within the pages of this awesome compilation, you'll find stories from bestselling authors like Kyla Stone, Christopher Artinian, Chris Philbrook, David Simpson, E.E. Isherwood, Baileigh Higgins, A.R. Shaw, Ryan Schow, and so many more... including little old me! That's right, for this Holiday project, I wrote an original short story called Jangle. Without giving away too much about how my quirky story plays out, you should know that I destroyed the planet in a brand new way: a permanent global earthquake! Shake it baby one more time. So please check it out and tell me what you think.
(NOTE: THIS PROMOTION HAS SINCE ENDED)
That's it! You'll hear from me again in the second half of January. Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope you have a wonderful, restful and peaceful time as we wrap up the year. Stay safe, silly, and sweet. I'm looking forward to chatting with you all again in 2022.
Be great,
Nic
nic@nicroads.com
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